Receiving signals form unknown location
One two tschchch One two tschchch
Echo can you hear me? tschchch
Can anyone here me? tschchch
I’m closing in on “83,95°N, 120,72°W”, Santa Claus supposed hide-out! Of course, everyone remembers how he complained last year about the thanklessness of the “worst” generation.
How can you forget to bring me the newest version of the “reindeer X12”, the ultimate tire for cross country races? Haven’t I been the most kind person this year to deserve something special? Who does even need a Santa Claus if he doesn’t bring you the presents you want? What is he even good for? I don’t want a Santa like this!
After these insults to one of the hardest working persons of this planet, his following disappearance is still fresh in our memory. Disappearance? I would say a calamity fits it more. Invoking a new glacial period, the world still shivers. Slowly approaching Santa’s next work period, we all wonder what will happen now. Will we see a return of the good ol’ Santa, or will “Santa’s Slay“ finally turn into reality? Following all possible leads, I successfully estimated his possible whereabouts. Investigating all bits of information, this is my last ray of hope that I’m heading towards the right destination. But wait, …. ooo…. what …. ooooo…. the hell …. oooooooo…. is going …..VROOOO …..ON???….OOOOOOOOOOM
Did you hear this? Just now a group of Santa’s henchmen passed by, close to my hiding place, on strange vehicles. Roadsters, Rally and even F1 cars!!! Here, in the deepest snow loaded valleys I have seen in my life time. Looked like they were racing each other, but this, I can’t say for sure. Only that the F1 cars were damn fast, leaving the ones trailing them covered in clouds of snow!
I will keep following their trails to find out what’s going on. But my guts tell me, I’m on the right track. I’ll need to shut down communication now, but will contact you again as soon as I have new insights! [Connection breaking down]
Some hours later
Hello tschchch it’s me tschchch I must have called a thousand times. tschchch But I think I finally got a stable connection from this freaking cold place. I continued my investigations and, finally figured out the cause of the rushing cars yesterday. By luck, I was able to catch up to the slowest driver that was left behind quite a bit and could separate him from the rest. After we had a nice talk (ice water with snow in combination with reduced coverage of body parts), I was able to get an overview over what has happened after Santa Claus returned to his domicile last winter. Furious over the received ingratitude, he wanted to shut down the whole business. But gladly, Mrs. Claus could convince him to exhibit some self-restraint and to think about the children in less developed countries that still believed in him. So over the course of the year he thought hard about how to increase the efficiency of his deliveries and came up with some kind of competition between his henchman. He designed different courses, where his special delivery units should train to select the final line-up for the Christmas eve. Apparently, what I witnessed was the selection process of the best drivers for the higher developed countries. As place is seldom at hand there, he searched for the best ones that could handle tight, technical courses and would be able to deliver presents in time. For countries with less developed infrastructure, he is planning to hold similar competitions in the forthcoming weeks. Additionally, he is trying to increase the teamwork between his employees by forging distinct teams for special tasks. As I could find out, these team competitions are to be hold each Friday evening. Together with this, he also insisted to promote outstanding players for the next three consecutive Wednesdays. And if this is not enough, drivers can try to gain his favour by taking part in special weekly tasks and unforeseen challenges set up by Santa’s executive committee.
Furthermore, after critical reviews of his personal presentation, he decided to work on it as well. Doesn’t this sound promising? It sounds like “Santa’s slay” will stay a fiction and we are looking forward to good times.
(to be continued)